The Political Whore

It’s time to stick it to the oil man. I don’t know about you, but I am getting alarmed, and going broke, over gas prices.

My small Civic is no longer as economical as it was just a few years ago. It still seems hard to imagine a car that gets around 30 miles per gallon (highway) could ever be considered a gas guzzler. However, with the price of gasoline rising rapidly, every time I look at my gas gauge my bank account dies a little more inside. Thirty miles per gallon (highway) just isn’t cutting it like it used to.

But could there be a better way? It seems there is an alternative.

Today is National Bike to Work Day. It’s too late for me to take advantage of this now, as I already (foolishly) drove into the office, but this could be a perfect solution to the rising price of the dino-juice.

If I would have known about this earlier, I could have saddled up the old Schwinn, put my coffee cup in the cup holder (note to self: get a cup holder for the Schwinn), thrown my backpack into the basket (note to self: saddle bags are way cooler), and lead by example.

I would be laughing at my one-day usurpation of big oil as I pedaled along the side of I-275 North on my 25-mile commute from St. Petersburg to Tampa. Of course I would be tempting death as I dodged the foolish, petroleum-dependent commuters flying by just inches away at 80 miles per hour. Biking 25 miles along a busy interstate could be, well, scary, since the Tampa Bay area is not always the most bike-friendly place.

Of course, once at the office I would need to take a shower and change clothes so as not to offend the staff. It is basically summer out there, after all, and the sweltering heat could certainly overpower Right Guard Sport gel. Since there is no shower here, I would have to settle for a bird-bath in the bathroom sink. Also, I would have to leave a little earlier to arrive on time. Like maybe two hours earlier to account for short breaks along the way. This means going to bed, and getting up, earlier. That’s not cool. . .

And the bike has no stereo or lumbar seating.

Actually, this biking-to-work idea may not be as practical for me as I wish it were. With some time to seriously consider it, a $3 to $4 commute (albeit both ways) in the car seems like maybe a better idea for now.

Of course, if gas prices rise to $10 per gallon, I’ll have to seriously reconsider it. Maybe I will. Next year.

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Have a good, non-violent weekend.

• Ahead of the curve: The California Supreme Court legalizes gay marriage.
• Lame Duck Watch: Bush rips Obama as an appeaser and begs the Saudis for cheaper oil.
• “Behind the Bush-Obama Smackdown.”
• “Bin Laden” releases yet another blowhard tape.
• America the masochistic.
• Indiana Jones invades France.
• Whoa Angelina, did you gain some weight?
• Nintendo’s latest sales strategy: Help the customer live longer.

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Just posted the results of the St. Pete City Council meeting over at Blurbex. Check out the details there and see what the Rays’ Matt Silverman (at the mic) and Michael Kalt (right) told Mayor Baker and the council members.

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Colbert buries O’Reilly.

• Edwards hops down off the fence.
• “The Al Gore watch starts now.”
• McCain outlines his four year plan.
• Republican members of congress brace for a November bloodbath.
• The Rays re-up Scott Kazmir’s deal.
• Save the polar bears.
• Syesha comes home … for good.
• I forget what this story is about, but that’s apparently normal.

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Embattled (yes, it’s reached that point) Hillsborough Supervisor of Elections Buddy Johnson got his head handed to him on this morning’s Tampa Tribune editorial page, in a piece that proclaims Johnson’s credibility is (in the immortal words of Lili Von Shtupp) kaput:

It’s one thing to shrug your shoulders at paying your taxes on time or defending your tax loophole because everyone else tries it, too. But it’s quite another to treat the election process so cavalierly.

Shortly after former Gov. Jeb Bush appointed Johnson to fill former Supervisor Pam Iorio’s term after she quit to run for mayor, Johnson traveled around the country spending taxpayer money to become certified in his job and, theoretically, good at it. For a while, he even wore a two-inch lapel pin that proclaimed his certification.

Judging by the ignorance he recently showed in sworn testimony, it appears taxpayers got little value for his travels.

On the upside, however, he did once run a helluva restaurant.

(Full disclosure: As a political consultant in the mid-1990s, I did work for Johnson’s current opponent, Phyllis Busansky.)

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Mayor Pam Iorio will be telling nonprofit arts leaders this afternoon that she will not cut grants to the arts this year, given the extreme beating that they are taking from the state budget and recessionary pressures.

UPDATE: The city’s news release on this is out, and the funding goes as follows:

The more than $3 million in funding for these organizations will be budgeted as follows: Florida Orchestra ($320,000); Kid City, The Children’s Museum ($36,000); Master Chorale, ($8,000); Museum of Science and Industry ($80,000); Spanish Lyric Theatre ($8,000); Tampa Bay Black Heritage Festival ($16,000); Tampa Bay History Center ($100,000); Florida Museum of Photographic Arts ($12,000); Ybor City State Museum ($80,000); Florida Aquarium ($600,000); H.B. Plant Museum ($91,800); Tampa Theatre ($115,000); Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center ($715,000); Lowry Park Zoo ($450,000); Homeless Coalition ($55,000); Boys & Girls Club ($44,000); Humane Society ($20,000); Mendez Foundation ($120,000); Sister Cities ($8,000); Ybor Chamber ($20,000); and Youth Opportunity Movement ($148,000).

This is not only good news, it is strong leadership.

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These are not happy days for journalism in Tampa Bay, and I take no joy in the fact that both of the mainstream daily newspapers are cutting back staff and/or space to save a few bucks as the business model that made print journalism possible for years crumbles out from underneath us.

First, the St. Petersburg Times. Over the weekend, the largest daily in Florida informed the readers of the outcome of its secret Flagship committee, which studied how to change the paper to meet a 21st Century audience and declining advertising revenues. Neither Eric Deggans nor Neil Brown used the word Flagship, but nonetheless, here’s what that committee came up with for May 19:

• Stop publishing Floridian except on Sundays. Floridians writers — among the best at the paper, including John Barry, Lane DeGregory and Ben Montgomery — will now compete with metro and national reporters for space in the A and B sections.
• Stop publishing a daily Business news section, putting biz news into the B section.
• Eliminate stock listings.
• The metro, B-section gets renamed “Tampa Bay.”
• Eliminate other features, including the Sunday Working section.
• Put comics and other reader favorites into the classified section and rename it all “BayLink”

Brown summarized the changes this way:

In a Starbucks world, it is the venerable Dunkin’ Donuts that sells more hot cups of coffee than anybody in America.

Even as the Starbucks “experience” transformed the coffee-drinking marketplace, the 58-year-old Dunkin’ chain found a way to soar, having grown its revenues roughly 50 percent in a recent three-year period. How? Rather than hunker down it adapted to changing tastes: more high-quality coffee, fewer fattening doughnuts.

This seems an apt lesson for newspapers, including the St. Petersburg Times, as we consider how best to deliver distinctive journalism and useful advertising in a time of profound technological change and extraordinary economic turbulence.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Maybe the Republicans are on to something …

• “Americans are gloomier about the direction of the country than at any point since 1992… .”
• “The Angry Earth” (featuring a guest appearance by the State of Florida).
• “Chinese stocks fell after the strongest earthquake in 58 years struck southwestern Sichuan province, killing 10,000 people and damaging power plants and transmission lines.”
• “‘Gruesome scene’ in Lutz”
• “Expert: Older people more content because of lowered expectations”
• “We know Conan O’Brien, and Jimmy Fallon is now Conan O’Brien.”

And finally, a double-shot from Time:

• Darfur Rebel Leader Vows: More War”
• “Why Pakistan’s Government Collapsed”

(Photo Credit: Gloom)

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Buddy Johnson recently addressing Plant High School students in Tampa, doubtless seeking an answer to the question: What do I do for a living?

Jeff Testerman at the St. Petersburg Times has been hammering away at the Hillsborough elections chief Buddy Johnson for months now, revealing all kinds of unsavory details, from Johnson’s multiple mortgages, his attempt to get greenbelt exemption for his land that is grazed by a handful of rent-a-cows, and his failure to pay property taxes in a timely manner.

This weekend, the latest one-two punch: Process servers say Johnson ducked them for 18 days in a case involving his official duties as supervisor of elections, and depositions in two court cases seem to show that Johnson has, at best, a passing familiarity with the machinations of his County Center operations:

He was unable to describe details of the voter registration process and unwilling to respond to routine questions, including the degrees he held and where he lived. Johnson complained that an NAACP lawyer treated him with condescension, and he briefly donned a football helmet before beginning the second day of testimony.

“I don’t like these (questions),” Johnson told the NAACP attorney at one point. “You have no idea. That language is really bothersome to me, really is offensive, I’ll be honest with you.”

Then there is this gem from the depositions that didn’t make it into the Times, with NAACP lawyer Thomas Abt of New York trying to find out if Johnson’s office allowed people to correct faulty voter registration applications in 2004 after the close of books for the election (by law, 29 days before balloting):

Q. No. My question is simply between the close of books and
election day, did your office allow voters who submitted a
correction after the close of books to make corrections?
A. Well, if they submitted a correction, that would have been
the correction — the correction wouldn’t have been to allow a
correction. So to answer your question, I would say no.
Q. So your answer is no?
A. As I understand your question, the answer is no,
but there were corrections made by virtue of a voter sending in
information directly. That would be the correction.

I’m guessing the real problem here is a failure to communicate between that nosy big-city lawyer and the simple, God-fearing values of Plant City as instilled in Supervisor Johnson.

(Full disclosure: as a political consultant in 1996-98, I worked for Johnson’s opponent in this year’s election, Phyllis Busanksy, on two occasions.)

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With a h/t to Bob Norman at the Daily Pulp, here is a wickedly funny satire on HRC:

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